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Wing Dogs: Just Humor Me Canine Staffers Woof Out on Finding Love

Featured in The New Barker Magazine

There are a lot of good things about being single: Freedom, freedom, and freedom! There are a lot better things about having Wing Dogs on your side to help you when you’d like a night off from being single. Meet Kermit the Dog, (Kissing Kermit) and Mayor Puppypants (Little Stinker). These two have helped me both meet and repel men! Mayor Puppypants has been my usual Wing Dog as we are often out on the town together. The trouble is, he prefers children and women, over men. We’ve had some mother-son chats about this. “Wouldn’t you like to have a daddy?” “Don’t you want mommy to stop swearing when she can’t fix the toilet?” “How about a nice man to take us on a hike to anywhere you want to go?” Mayor Puppypants: “Nah, I’m good”. Nothing seemed to change his mind that mom is just fine being single, and my request for a boyfriend is DENIED with his paw-stamp of disapproval.

Kermit the Dog on the other hand, well, now, here’s a Wing Dog! Kissing Kermit is a MAN MAGNET! It’s possible he was a Hollywood movie star in his former life with his animal magnetism and ability to make-out with everyone who crosses his path. When I am out with Mayor Puppypants, I have to scan for kids for him to play with. When I see a family, I am his pimp. “May my dog please pet your kids?” And of course, the answer is always “Yes!” and he melts their innocent hearts. Kermit loves kids too, but he’s on board with my mission of finding a Dog Daddy. We had a mother-son chat too…

“Kermit, would you like to have a nice man to run with and tackle to the ground with your smooches?” Kermit: “Yes, mommy, please! I’m such a good boy. Please get me a daddy.” Me: “I’m working on it, Kermit, but there’s not that many human ‘good boys’ out there, would you help me find one?” Kermit: “WOOF!!!” And so, Kermit gave his stamp of paw-proval and is now my number one Wing Dog. Me: “Kermit, would you ask your brother to help us sniff out a good man?” Kermit: “That fool? He wants you to have a kid, not a man!” Me: “Kermit, would you please have “The Talk” with Mayor Puppypants? I think it’s time.

So, hopefully, once the Mayor makes the connection; that men lead to kids… he might re evaluate his conviction that I should be single for life, as he is man enough.